“You have to WILL it to happen”

How many corny t-shirts and sayings do we have when it comes to willpower? But how often has will actually gotten you where you want?

It’s so easy to blame yourself when you “fail” at something like fat loss or fitness. I put that in quotes, because you can’t actually fail if you have the right attitude and learn from everything.

But that’s for another blog.

Nonetheless, let’s talk about WHY willpower is not nearly as useful as you might think…and what to replace it with.

Two weeks ago, my son Max and I took off on an adventure we’ve been talking about for a few years. An attempt at the 40.5 mile section of the Appalachian Trail through Maryland in less than 24 hours!

We set off at 4am from PenMar park on the PA line and headed south in the cool, damp darkness of mid-July. Our goal was to pull up to Harper’s Ferry no later than 8pm.

By the mid way point, we were already struggling far more than I expected. Serious leg cramps and sapped energy!

Then I hit a second wind. A long pit-stop with well needed calories and rest gave us a second wind. That lasted until a brutal climb that I knew was coming.

I honestly underestimated how much it would take out of me. I’ve climbed it many times, but never 25 miles into a hike.

That one climb that was endless and rocky took every bit of will out of my legs and and heart. The next 5 mile stretch was supposed to be easy, and every step felt like pain. Ever mile felt like 5.

I’m sure I’m selling this hike to you;)

As we pulled up to the last road stop where we could bail, 30.5 miles into our day, and the longest I’ve ever walked in a single day, I knew what I wanted.

I deeply wanted to be done. I was quietly hoping with every bit of strength I had left that Max would agree.

Just a few miles before the break, when i asked him what he thought, he sort of barked back at me….”yes.” So I was worried he was committed to finishing up.

I’m feeling my energy (zero). My body (badly sore). My heart (overworked and broken).

No part of me wanted to do the last 10 miles. It was already 6pm…and our finish was going to be at least 10 pm. Another 10 miles and four hours.

Something I truly don’t think I had.

I can’t tell you how happy I was when I stated my case and Max agreed. 30 miles was a huge accomplishment, and who were we trying to prove this to? It was time to be done.

At first it felt like failure. I have hiked several thousand miles in my life, and I really don’t ever give up. This was a rare feeling to me.

But then I had this realization. While I’m in great hiking shape relative to most folks, that doesn’t mean I was anywhere near ready to hike 40 miles over rocks and mountains.

Willpower just wasn’t going to be enough.

I see this every single week in our gym.

Many women join with the hopes of breaking through often decades of personal challenge with fitness and fat loss.

Years of built up “failures”, attempts, and all of the factors that get more difficult with age, raising children, busy schedules, aches and pains and more.

By the time I work with someone, they have often tried more than 5 times to get in shape and stay there. They’ve been on countless diets and tried countless gyms/workouts.

It’s so seductive to believe that willpower will be the fuel to finally succeed. But it never works.

Willpower is an exhaustible resource. It runs out when you grow tired, hit a snag, hear your own excuses, get pulled in different direction and so on.

The women who have success in our small group training program don’t succeed on will.

They succeed on habits. They succeed on falling in love with the workout and the community, the feeling of being strong and fit, and all the crazy benefits they see in their health, confidence and personal life.

Habits don’t sound sexy. They don’t fit on a t-shirt and they don’t make for cool catch-phrases.

But they do take you from wanting to finally be in shape to actually making it happen.

How will Max and I get back out there and complete that 40 mile stretch? Not willpower. That failed. We’ll get there by building a weekly hiking habit, building up to more and more miles, and heading out more physically prepared. We have to fall in love with the habit of making hikes a priority for a while. Then and only then will it be worth trying again.

The same is true of you. You don’t just need to “find your willpower” this time. You need to find the workout and the people you love being around, then commit to that habit like you do to showing up for work.

In other words, you don’t negotiate with it.

If being more fit, strong, lean, healthy, etc. is important to you, it’s time to work on finding your place and your people. I can’t urge you enough to find that place TODAY and commit.

Dedicated to your health,
David