Part #3 Empowered Mindset/Belief
I could easily have stopped this eBook at Empowered Nutrition and Fitness…but this is the real key to lasting change. It’s the X Factor. I like to call it the Alchemy for transformation.
How many diets and workouts would you say are available to you right now? I’ll bet you couldn’t answer that if you tried. So why are so many people still overweight, unhealthy and stressed?
Of course a large reason is our food and lifestyle creates temptations and distraction at every turn, but I think it goes deeper. Very seldom do I hear people talk about training their mind for success, dealing with stress or dealing with old negative beliefs when it comes to this process.
Folks, that is the problem! The things that have made you and the people around you stressed and unhealthy are largely perpetuated because of these mental and emotional factors. And almost nobody is dealing with change at this level.
I can tell you, as someone who coaches people through this process but was never obese myself, the one place I can identify with challenge is in being an entrepreneur. If you want to take on one of the most internally challenging tasks of your life, try to build a successful business.
You will be tested at every turn. You have nobody to look for or lean against. You can’t have an “off day” or week, because it gets reflected in your success immediately. You hit walls, question why you’re trying, and get tested all the time.
It really is no different than changing your health.
Change is change. There are levels you have to pass through-
1- Excitement over the “new thing”
2- Growth and success
3- Setback and failure
5- Problem solving/inspiration
6- Retool and retry
7- …and hopefully, Success!
Growth and change is a nice curvy wave like a rollercoaster. And most change- whether weight loss, giving up an addiction, building a business- share the same characteristics.
So here’s the deal. What I’m about to teach you is the game changer. These are the tools that help you at every step of the 7 steps above.
They will help you feel inspired, deal with doubt, cut off any self-sabotaging thoughts, problem solve, and more.
So why are so few people doing this??? I’d say for the most part, this stuff is thought of as fluffy, new age or weird which is wildly false. In practice, these skills are grounded, practical and immediately useable in your life.
I promise if you put 80% of your intention into this step, Empowered Mindset, that the other two steps will be more effortless, clear and successful.
A Word of Warning
I’ve seen a disturbing trend for those who don’t do this work. Most of the time when people try to change fitness and nutrition habits without doing the internal work to integrate it leads to reverting right back to your status quo.
What do I mean by status quo? If you were 30 lbs overweight and ate junk for 10 years, that’s become your norm. Your comfort zone.
Even if this is an extreme example, if you’re looking to make change and you’re not currently happy with your health, this is your status quo. It’s your comfort zone of fitness, nutrition and mindset.
If you make external change to your habits but don’t work with the mind, you naturally will be challenged to go back to what’s comfortable.
Human nature is that in times of stress or setback, we revert to what feels safe and comfortable. Unfortunately, what seems to be there to keep us safe really keeps us stuck in mediocre.
Have you already tried and failed to lose weight or change your health? Chances are that if you’ve yo-yo’d several times and keep coming back to normal or worse off than before, you’ve been magnetized to your status quo! Your comfort zone.
Sadly, I’ve actually seen a few clients do this. They have made amazing changes, lost a ton of weight, look great and feel more confident…but the second they got complacent or something stressful came up in life, they went right back to comfortable.
They “didn’t have time” to workout anymore. And when one habit went, so did all the other good stuff. Then bam, right back.
I don’t want that same pattern to happen to you. If you want to end that cycle and get to your absolute best place of physical and emotional health, empowerment and success, let’s do this work!!!
Health above All Else
I’m not kidding when I say that HEALTH has to be the #1 priority, especially over weight loss.
If you want to be let down, derailed from your path, or challenged at every level of your path, make sure weight loss is your number one goal.
I absolutely am a fan of fat loss for the right reasons. I’m a fan of losing weight when you need to do so for your health. I even run weight loss challenges that are highly successful. But the core real and lasting change is this. Health above all else.
Why? This year, if you went from the couch to working out 3 days a week; you went from largely processed food to eating mostly whole food; you lost 2 dress sizes, felt great about yourself and ONLY lost 5lbs, was it a success?
I hope like heck your answer would be yes.
But if you make weight loss your number one goal, and put it above being healthy, you are asking to be derailed and let down.
The second reason is that health is flat out more important than weight, and many of the changes you need to make starting today will benefit your health but might not have much to do with your weight directly.
I’ve seen people who workout entirely too much, eat low calorie diets, sleep less than 6 hours a night, and carry enough stress to cause heart attacks BUT still are a “good weight.” So is this a success? Not in my eyes.
Doing things simply for the sake of maximizing your health…that’s powerful. So keep health as your #1 goal and all else will fall into place. You’ll also naturally be a lot happier with the results and you will view change as life-long, not just a one month challenge.
Waiting is Suffering
One of my mentors said this, and I’ve used this phrase ever since. Look at your life and really ask yourself, “where am I waiting?” (and pick somewhere that’s deeply important to you)
Chances are if you stopped waiting today and refused to wait one more day, you would be extremely happy with yourself.
Choosing to wait for the right time, when you have more time, more money, etc. will just keep you in a mode of suffering.
I see this with young moms the worst. Give them anything to do for their kids and they’re on it. But my God, the idea of taking money or time and using it on being healthier (and usually a better, more patient mom who is healthy and a great role model for her kids) is like asking her to cut off her arm.
So you wait. And you wait. And you hit 50, come to me and tell me you wish you hadn’t waited and put everyone else first.
Of course this is a real challenge, and it’s not that easy to just say you’ll invest in your time. Often it means asking for support from your husband or community, giving up something else, or using energy you may not even feel like you have.
Perhaps the change you need to make can be smaller than you think. Perhaps you can do just 50% of the change and still reap better health. It might be that you literally don’t have the time to do the optimal change…so do good enough! Sometimes that’s all it takes.
So if you’re reading this today, stop waiting and start living!
The Empowered Mindset Techniques
I have developed countless tools to support mental and emotional change. These are the highlights of some of the best and most important ones to start with.
ONE: Get clear on your motivation
I think I’ve already beat it to death, but don’t make weight your motivation. Even if it’s dress size or inches, that is better than weight loss. But I actually encourage you to look deeper.
Having sat down with thousands of women and discussing motivation, I’ve seen a thread through most of them. Usually when I drill down and we get to the heart of the matter, we find some really juicy emotion.
Not every woman has the same emotional motivation, but there are themes, and I would start here.
Ask yourself this question- “for the sake of who/what would I make this change?”
When you get to the right answer it will usually draw up strong feelings. Sadness, excitement, love, or maybe even anger.
We don’t want you to get stuck in those emotions, because I don’t think negative emotions should drive your change for long. But they are good for getting your butt up and taking action.
So drill down and really explore this question.
Here’s one more question that can be useful- “If my weight stayed exactly the same and I was the empowered, confident and healthy woman I want to be, WHAT changed?”
Really sit with this one for a minute right now, because it’s a great creative tool that makes you think.
I actually encourage you to stop reading for 5 minutes, get to a quiet place sitting upright. Close your eyes, take 3 long, slow breaths to clear your mind, and then ask yourself this question.
Sit back and be the observer. Watch your thoughts and see what comes up. Pay close attention to your body and see what truly moves you.
Once you know the answer to these two questions you will have better clarity around what matters to you and why you’re ready to make this change.
If you skip this part and simply slough it off and tell people you want to lose weight then you won’t have any power to fall back on when you hit setbacks.
Setbacks are going to be part of your path to exceptional health. People who are deeply grounded in their motivation know that the hard work is all worth it even when they have failures. When your motivation doesn’t pull at your heartstrings, it falters the moment you most need it.
TWO- Meditate and do these two exercises
1- Box Breathing- any form of this exercise should be in your stress-relief toolbox. Box breathing is simple, and since I don’t love rules, I believe you can do any number count you please. Just sit comfortable with an upright posture, close your eyes, and follow your breath- in through your nose to a count of 4, hold for 2, slowly out through your nose for a count of 7, then hold for 2. Repeat at least 3 rounds. This can be done any time of day or to set up for a longer meditation.
2- Gratitude and Cultivation Exercise- To attract more of what you want, you’ve got to focus on two things. Vision and gratitude. This meditation builds up excitement for what you already have, and creates excitement for new things in your life.
First, after getting into a calm, meditative state using box breathing, I want you to run through a mental picture of all the things in your life that bring expansion- things you love about yourself, things that bring your joy, confidence, peace, accomplishment. Truly take as much time as you can to FEEL all that you have in your life.
Second, now with the same excitement and energy from your gratitude work, create a picture of what you intend to cultivate. What changes do you intend to make this year that truly excite you, make you feel more healthy, confident and empowered. See them, feel them and watch them like a movie in your mind. Explore them as if they’ve already occurred.
Do this meditation as often as you can. The more you get in touch with what you’re grateful for and what you intend to create in your health, the more power and ease you will have in cultivating it.
This work may seem overly simplistic, but it is truly what makes the process more effortless. You’ll find that it gives you clarity and the path to better health will be revealed if you’re open and listening.
I truly believe this and tell all my clients- you have all the power in the world to heal, and you know exactly how to do it. No doctor has probably every told you this, but it is true. You have the ability to be your own expert!
THREE- Rewrite negative stories
When I say the word story here, I simply mean thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself. I’m particularly talking about old beliefs that have been long-term trends in your life, especially self-limiting beliefs that sabotage your efforts.
Here’s the amazing thing about our old story. No matter how old it is, how much you buy into it and how much trouble it causes you, YOU are the one who wrote it. You are the one who can re-write it too!
Einstein once said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” So since this problem arose from a false belief in your past, we need to go above simply thinking our way out of it.
We can’t just problem solve and “figure it out.” Chances are that you’ve tried to figure this old belief out and fight against it for years. That rarely works.
Here’s how you’re going to change it.
Genuinely, authentically, I want you to re-write this story to serve growth and joy in your life. Again, you created the story in the first place. You have the ability to change it right now.
Here’s an example. A story I’ve heard many times is, “I don’t lose weight easily. After two babies and in my late 40’s it just doesn’t happen for me.”
Re-writing this story might look like this. “My body is calling me to a higher level of integrity with my food and to explore exercise that gets me out of my comfort zone.”
Do you see how this is literally a different story about the same situation? So which one is more powerful? Which one confirms your failure and makes you feel validated when you fall short? And which one allows you to feel excited about the change you’re about to embark on?
This is not to say the process will be easy. I can’t promise you that. But if you go in knowing you have to bring a new level of integrity and effort you can see that as a personal challenge that’s there to pull the best out of you.
My wife literally went through this exact process last year, and I’m so proud of her.
There is no question that she has to “work harder” than I do to lose fat. After 3 kids and now in her late 30’s she found it tougher than ever before. She has never been someone who loses weight easily. It was easy for her to throw her hands up and say “I just can’t do it this time! After two babies the same techniques don’t work, so I give up.”
And I know for a fact there was a part of her that kicked and screamed and felt bad for her for some time. But when she just decided that she was being called to a new level of commitment with nutrition and consistency in the gym, it all happened.
I’ve seen this happen with SOOOO many women at different walks of life and I can honestly tell you. It’s not your age, build, genes, athleticism, luck or anything else. You have the ability to change your body and become an empowered woman when your mind is in the right place.
A great place to start is to take a close look at your old, negative stories and give them an empowering twist.
Dedicated to your health,
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